Is love this composite chemical or this cosmic light that binds the world that we can only experience atoms of and are then left craving for more eternally? Or is love such a huge volume of emotions that you can see it all around you but can never find any for keeps, or even to hold for a little while? Is love existing in such a myriad of ways that it is difficult to pinpoint one avatar and say I like it best and want it to linger most? Or is love this ability to give up being loved and say I have loved and been loved so I know it cannot last forever? Or is love this magnificent feeling that really can last forever, but that not many stumble upon?
My story in love??? That's too long to keep you riveted... Suffice it to say for now that I have loved more and been loved less. Except for the two tender hearts whose world I have built, I can confidently say. And I am now at a point where I am contemplating what is contemporarily an EMA (extra marital affair). That's material for another post.
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If you have built two entire worlds, for two people to inhabit all their lives, then the love you give or the love you have is more immense than any of us here.
ReplyDeleteSo many questions! And no satisfactory, black-and-white answers... Sigh. Piya was right. We're all navigating the universe of love much the same way we were earlier stumbling through this website in Chinese! Maybe we can put our heads together and achieve resolution here too! :)
ReplyDeleteParomita, I think you exhibit so much love in your daily life... toward your children, your work, your colleagues, the flowers in your verrandah. You deserve a life where love is poured out and poured back in equal measure. Perhaps this is not about having an affair with some handsome stranger (though, as I type, that sounds quite nice... I'm thinking Goa, airy huts, sunsets...hmmm) anyways: my point is, perhaps you need to have a love affair with your life again, engage in random flirtations with it a bit more. You might be surprised by the love that returns!
ReplyDeleteI think love is a verb and not a noun.
ReplyDeleteMost of us activate this verb very selectively - with someone we deem worthy of "our love" - in the Relationship Exchange (RASDAQ ?).
And because this is so, most of us are left pining to be the object of someone's love often.
and to follow up - do u think we can choose to love certain people simply by making up our minds to ?
ReplyDeleteCan we make up our minds to fall in love with particular people? I don't think that's possible! Though I DO think it's possible to open our minds to the possibility of falling in love... And then wait and see :)
ReplyDeleteActually, I've seen too many people want a love story to work so badly that they've hung in there through it all, their main mission being to twist and turn and conform themselves so that their love can keep fitting...working. I'm thinking of my mother's and grandmother's generation, where love was both without choice and full of choice. You ended up with someone without choice and then everyday after that you actively chose to make it work, no matter what fell away or was sacrificed along the way... usually the self. I think there's some truth to hanging in there for the long haul...love takes time and work, but question is how do you know when to stick it out and when it's time to quit?
ReplyDeleteHmmmm. I'm not sure our definitions of love are at all the same as our grandmothers' or great-grandmothers'. I think they thought of it primarily in terms of duty and security. Passion wasn't really a prerequisite, right?
ReplyDeleteBut yeah, the interesting bit is that whatever kind of love it is, it needs work. And when do you know when it's time to quit...? I suppose when you finally start to feel perpetually tired.... emotionally drained in an awful way... In a more-better-than-worse relationship, I guess we feel annoyed and sad and angry quite a bit. But I think that constant dull aching exhaustion means it's time to quit!
The only EMA you need is with yourself. The way back to love is to fall in love with oneself and be supremely selfish about it.
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